Men, Machinery and Shovels

LAPD ~ Look and
Point Department






It’s been a month of men, machinery and shovels. Pouring concrete, digging trenches, laying pipes and shovelling stones. Talking of concrete, I don't know about you, but for me there is something wonderfully compelling about it, especially watching it pour. Just the sound, a sort of sucking woosh, has you spellbound. In fact it excites almost all of my senses, with the exception of taste; not tried it, not going to. I think it harks back to my childhood when we used to make mud pies, lumps of earth and water all stirred round with a lolly stick with a few daisy heads thrown in for decoration. I used to call it ‘Sloppy Molly’ and the pleasure of it has stayed with me to this day. Concrete deliveries draw audiences and I’m in the front row.

Most men are a bit bashful about having their photographs taken but introduce a piece of machinery or a shovel and you’ll get a pose. Then the photograph has a new dimension, a story. In this one, the roof, the doors and the drainpipes go on the bunker. How easy it is to get excited about a delivery of concrete when it heralds the beginning of the end of a big project. No 'topping out' celebration though; in the grand scheme of things it's not the significant milestone. That marker is reserved for our new home, the old garage.

At long last things have stepped up a pace. Plans have been redrawn; the originals no longer recognisable behind the scribblings and scratchings of innumerable changes.




[It can be an expensive game changing plans once they’ve been approved. We’ve changed them more than once. A sad and forlorn old farmhouse can be transformed into an impressive, idyllic country home on paper but be absolutely sure the pretty picture works for you. Check distances of swimming pools from the house or other buildings. How do you see the landscaping around the pool? If there are any special features you want make sure you have the space. Be aware that a garden shed, a wood store, even a pergola or anything else that has a roof may require planning permission. Check every space internally, especially kitchens and bathrooms, even plan furniture in the rooms. If the house is a rebuild you may be able to re-site windows and doors. Scrutinise your plans as though you are going to move into the house tomorrow. Thinking it all out is hard work and time consuming but it could save you money and/or disasters.]

The race is on to finish the ‘bunker’, demolish the old garage and commence work on our new home in its stead, develop the cowsheds, landscape the garden and build the swimming pool by next summer. I wish that we could be catapulted into next year leaving the toil of this one just a crumpled list of done jobs but that’s called wishful thinking and we haven’t got time for that.

I’ve been planting trees in the field beyond the bunker, poplars and fruit trees. Poplars to define the land boundary and fruit trees, well, for fruit. One day you plant a stick in the soil, cover its roots with earth, soak them with water and in just a few days, little taut buds erupt into frilly blossom. When did I begin to appreciate the wonders of nature? Well, the idea is, eventually, clients who rent the house will have their pick of apricots, apples, pears, plums and peaches, all home grown. Vegetables too, next year.

Just when you think it’s safe to go into the garden the snow comes, again; damn it. We’ve done the snow and put it to bed then when everything about the weather signals Spring, thick green carpets of grass, profusions of blossom feathering the fruit trees and temperatures of 24 degrees, winter reminds you it’s not done. So now we wait. Back inside, half-heartedly picking over the ‘Indoors To Do’.

We have our man lined up to demolish the old garage for us and to dig the foundations. I’ll be there with the vid. another front row event. And the rebuild, well we have prepared little packs of plans, structural drawings and specifications (translated into Italian) to pass on to prospective builders. We have four lined up (a German, an Italian, an Italian who has lived in Canada for 11 years so has a good command of English and the five brothers from Kosovo, but, as is usual anywhere in the world, the best are already committed to work for the next six months or so and we can’t afford to wait. Che sara’ sara’.

Next month ~ The chosen builder. Demolishing the old garage, digging the foundations and other snippets.

DogBlog February

Monte and Giorgio, the day we found them and brought them home.

Our two rescue pups. Abandoned in Montegiorgio, hence their names. We took them home to give them a bath, feed them and to decide what to do with them. This was in June 2007 when they were about 3 months old. They are still with us and weigh nearly 50 kgs each.

What is it about animals, not only do they steal your heart but ours are beginning to steal my blogspace. I’ve had a number of requests from friends and family for more pics of the dogs so this is a DogBlog for them.

Something you need to know about the boys, Monte and Giorgio, they may look cute and fetching but behind the big amber puppy eyes there lurks cunning Fagin would have been proud of. They’ve made off with numerous shoes, coasters, a pair of glasses, cushions, dvd’s, towels; the list is endless. It’s not that they’re silent or inconspicuous; they just know when the moment is right and then they move in for the swipe. Their cunning doesn’t extend to the getaway however, having won the prize they behave like rowdy teenagers, clattering around squabbling and fighting over it. It’s a dead giveaway boys.

One morning they made an escape. Nothing clever about it, they found a gate open and they simply wandered out into the outside world from whence they came. It’s in a dog’s nature to migrate and they can cover great distances in only a short time. It was 15 minutes before we realised that they’d gone and who knows how many migratory miles that converts to, bearing in mind that dogs have ‘4 leg drive’ and follow instinct rather than roads. The question was, where do we begin to look for them? The only thing to do in these situations is to drive in any and all directions with the windows open hollering their names into the countryside and hope that their acute hearing will pick up the signal, and it did. We found them about a mile away, way across the fields, two glittering white splashes in the sunshine against a verdant backdrop, tails held high and trotting with a purpose. They stopped when they heard us; transfixed, ears like radars tipped in our direction. Then they were off, sprung like greyhounds from a trap, hurtling down the valley towards us, across the stream and through the brambles to greet us, heads trimmed with burs, uncontrollable with excitement, tongues lolling and chests pounding. It was so good to see them. Back home for breakfast. No walk that morning.

Some of the boys' fans

They already have a growing fan base as you can see by the photos. New fans, would you like to have your photograph posted on the DogBlog? Just email us your favourite photo along with your first name to: kentreves@tiscali.it and we will publish it for you.

Christmas Break ~ The SHIZNIT

My husband’s son and family spent a week with us in January 2008 so we declared the week an official holiday. The race was on to finish the bedroom we had started before Christmas. Chop, chop, busy, busy, work, work, bang, bang. We stopped work the morning we were due to collect them from the airport and apart from a second coat of paint needed to one wall and a chest of drawers, grouting the tiled skirtings, fitting the door handle and a few finishing touches, we had a beautiful new bedroom ready for occupation.

Now, living fairly close to the mountains has its advantages, for one thing it’s very scenic in the winter but snow is all there is to offer here in January so with this in mind we planned to treat the kids and ourselves to some skiing lessons. Sassotetto is our nearest ski centre and as far as ski resorts go it’s not the SHIZNIT (for definition, see below) but it serves an ungainly crew of beginners quite adequately and we found ourselves taking our first faltering skids under the auspices of the very patient Pietro. Could there be anything more alien than having enormous shiny boards strapped to your feet extending backwards and frontwards and which move, by the very nature of the surface they come into contact with, of their own volition. A bike or a car has the precaution of brakes but these snaky protuberances have nothing, not even stabilisers and I can assure you that a couple of hand held sticks are not going to save your bacon. In fact, your first instinct as you are racing towards a calamity is to jettison the sticks.

If only it were as easy to jettison the skis. Anyway, all the excitement was a bit 'Bum Clenching'. The thing is, when you know how all of this can be avoided, with a simple spazzaneve (snowplough) it starts to become a bit more fun. Am I going back for more? You betchya.

The SHIZNIT

My kid is the ‘SHIZNIT’. The word in this context connotes something outstanding surely. I found this wonderful little gem in a Snoop Dog ad on SKY TV. I’m a bit of a word junkie and the ‘SHIZNIT’ does it for me. So, I promptly bestowed it on our little granddaughter, Molly who is 4 years old and who has survived the ravages of chemotherapy and a host of other treatments for a neuroblastoma, emerging weakened but by no means dispirited. She doesn’t see what all the fuss is about but for me, Molly is the SHIZNIT. And just so that she understood this, we reminded her of it at least a dozen times a day. “Molly is the SHIZNIT” became our breakfast reveille, in-car chant and bedtime loony-tune. Then someone queried its meaning and although curious myself, I felt that somehow the SHIZNIT wasn’t quite going to be the SHIZNIT we all hoped it would be. We had to ‘Google’ it of course and it seems that the word is a contraction of part of the phrase:~ That’s the “S**t isn’t it” which contrary to the dictionary definition of S**t implying well.. you know what, is actually the bees bloody knees!! However, the discovery of the definition of the word rather dampened our ardour towards the use of it, (at least towards or in front of the children). Our big, beautiful Maremmano pups, who know nothing about word derivation have become the recipients of the accolade, that is when they’re not being castigated for their misdemeanours. They love being the SHIZNIT since they understand the word ‘sausage’ and think it’s related!! That’s the SHIZNIT.

Next month ~ back to work on the bunker, specifications for the garage conversion (our new home) and finding the right builders.

Onwards and upwards, sideways and some times even backwards

Casa Antonio

The Bunker (underground garage)

There’s a quirky little law in Italy about underground buildings insofar as you are almost certainly likely to getting planning permission for one, on the premise, I suppose that if the building doesn’t occupy visual space, in other words if you can’t see it then who’s going to mind or even know. It makes me think that there might be some leverage in buying up a hillocky patch and applying to build ultra modern underground pods, bit like ‘Teletubbies’ houses with porthole doors and light tubes to provide natural light. Now, there’s an opportunity for somebody, to develop the ‘CASAPOD’. Anyway, I digress. The garden at the back of Casa Antonio runs away from the house for about 50 feet and then the land slopes down into a field. This change in level offers prime ‘underground build’ space. You can sink something into the bank and disguise it as a bank and hey presto you got yourself a bunker. Which is exactly where we are ~ mid-build with the ‘bunker’ our underground garage, which strictly speaking isn’t fully, since only the roof and three sides will be buried in the ground, the front, for obvious reasons of access, won’t. Or will it?

The plans show two garage doors, set at either side of the front elevation leaving a wide stretch of wall in the centre which has to be disguised as a flower bed. There was I thinking what a perfect backdrop for my lemon tree. But no, it seems the prerequisite is to deposit a mound of earth from the floor to roof height up this centre wall so that where it meets the roof it forms a hump with a discreet opening either side. Are you starting to recognise any similarities ~ YES! It’s a Teletubbies house. We had hoped to get the roof on and the sectional doors installed by Christmas but snow has stopped work. Yippee! Well, it drove us indoors, different conditions, different tools, still work.

Casa Antonio
Just to bring you up to date a bit with the main house, Casa Antonio. ‘Casa Antonio’ encompasses two buildings, the main house, which is where we now live on one floor which is fairly habitable, and the old garage built from ‘tufi’ (volcanic rock) blocks with a flat concrete roof. It is intended to transform the main house into a six bedroom, five bathroom luxury house with a huge kitchen and dining/living room at ground floor level. A bedroom and shower room for the disabled will also be incorporated at ground floor level. It’s a great shame that the house, considered by most to be ‘una casa brutta’ (an ugly house) has been faced up with cheap, shiny-faced bricks because beneath the bricks there is a heart of stone. The walls throughout have been constructed from local stone, from wonderful great chunks of it to exciting little nuggets from the palest colour of honey to burnished indigo punctuated here and there with a dash of terracotta and ..um just a smidgeon of concrete. An irregular and deliciously lumpy work of marchigiana art. Since money doesn’t allow us to hack the brickwork off the exterior walls and return them to their natural state, the best we can do is expose some of the interior stonework and render the exterior “villa style” with a few mouldings and travertine stone around the windows to add a dash of sophistication.

During the last three years we were able to get some of the major works to the main house out of the way, new roof and windows, well, as much as the budget would allow, bearing in mind that we were having to shell out huge tranches of dosh to pay the builders at Casa Renzo, since work on both houses were running concurrent, with my husband doing the work at Casa Antonio. Having a husband who is a builder in these circumstances is a big cost saver but materials are still expensive and he doesn’t make windows and doors.

Casa Antonio price guide for windows so far: 15 new windows with outside shutters (louvred) in pine @ 850 euros per set = 12,750 euros. 9 doors and a further 7 windows all with shutters, are required to complete the main house. That’s the way the money goes, pop goes the weasel for those of you who remember the song. Sadly we don't have a weasel to pop.

The roof is as pretty

as a picture;

a pity we can’t see it

from the ground.

Casa Antonio ~ The old garage
Well, a lot needs to happen to this building; so this is a major project on its own. We will live here eventually. The plans have been drawn up, but between the plans and completion there will be any number of aggravations waiting to happen! I’ll come back to this when things get underway.

Going Backwards ~ Just one of those days!!

We all have them; a day when we would have achieved more if we hadn’t got out of bed. How the day started. My husband had to pay a visit to the house in Montegiorgio which is 35 minutes away by car to attend to a minor repair. When he arrived he realised he did not have the key. Not a disaster, just time consuming and a nuisance having to do the trip there and back again. Then at Casa Antonio we laid out the travertine stone mouldings for the respective window surrounds in preparation for fixing and discovered that quite a lot of them had been cut short. This prompted one of my growling, stomping routines accentuated by some choice expletives. I didn’t know that I knew so many. (Thankfully, we don’t live close to anyone). However the stone for the upper windows were OK so we decided to push on with the upper floor and at least have something to show for the day. The scaffolding was in place so access wasn’t difficult and we had an electrically powered scaffold hoist with a bucket attachment to get materials up to the top. But the bucket tipped as it reached the top and all the mouldings crashed to the ground; sadly they didn’t survive the fall. They lay broken and crossed like sticks on a boyscouts fire. Angry? Way, way beyond that; anger just peters out to disbelief at times like this. How the day ended. Watching the sun go down from the top of the scaffold with a good bottle of Prosecco and only the sound of bees for company. Ah me! How lucky are we?

To Begin at the Beginning

My husband spent many long summers in Italy as a boy. Although he wasn't born with a silver olive oil drizzler in his mouth or even an olive complexion, (I think it was more than a mosquito that got under his skin during those idyllic holidays in Rimini), Italy became a passion for him and after a visit to Venice and Tuscany so it was for me.

So, growing ever greyer (complexion and hair, the weather goes without saying) in England, it's not surprising that we dreamed about a life less fraught, of long, warm summers and a more docile lifestyle in Italy. OK, that's enough of the flowery stuff, as I said 'we dreamed'. Cutting to the chase, here we are living in Le Marche, Italy. It will be four years in May 2008 since we relocated here and to say that we have never looked back doesn't necessarily mean that we don't miss certain aspects of our 'past' life in East Sussex, it just means that we haven't had much time to reflect ~ or to feel sorry for ourselves!

Impetuosity, they say, comes with youth, so there was none of that. It was a fairly meticulously (is fairly meticulous do-able?) planned relocation. Armed with the necessary tools to 'make it work' ~ enough money (a vast amount is better and then you don't need to work), a moderate knowledge of the language, a builder (my husband) and a TEFL certificate (mine), we felt that we were prepared to face the challenges of making a living in a foreign country.

I ought to have mentioned that we had already purchased two properties, both relatively cheaply and very run down. Having the necessary building expertise, the idea was to 'turn around' the smaller of the properties within a year or at most eighteen months and sell it on, thus making a profit to plough into the larger property, which is where we would live in the meantime and which would become a holiday-let eventually. Careful planning may be the best way forward so long as it includes more than a little something for contingency, no, make that 'disaster recovery'. Best laid plans etc. and really, if it were that simple then I wouldn't be writing this blog!!!

A Geometra is like a cross between a surveyor, an architect and a bandit. You have to employ one to manage any major renovation works on a property, primarily because someone has to sign off any electrical, plumbing and construction works as conforming to standard. What you are not familiar with at this stage is how sadly their standards fall behind British standards. Our bandit, for the smaller house, told us that my husband would not be allowed to do the renovation work himself because he was not registered for work in Italy and would not be allowed to register since he is not Italian. Baloney, we discovered later but too late to rescue our over spent budget. Not all was lost however, my husband took over after the Italian builders had done their worst. It took us seven months to repair and finish the works at the house which included addressing some major damp issues. The house is delightful now. (see it 'Casa Renzo' under Properties for Rent on our http://www.dreamitalia.co.uk/ site) We sold it in September this year but it has taken four years from the date of purchase to renovate and sell it.

And so we move on to another chapter, our main house 'Casa Antonio'. My husband is now registered for work and we have a new bandit, er Geometra. Nearly four years experience behind us and things are following a more controlled course. Casa Antonio when it is finished will consist of two houses, the main house which will be available for rent, a converted garage which will be our home, a pool house, swimming pool, terraces and landscaped gardens.

Our first blog is a potted history covering three and a half years of our life in Le Marche which brings us to where we are now. Follow us through the renovation of our next major project, Casa Antonio.

Contact us if you have any questions or advice about living in Italy.

December blog ~ Casa Antonio and progress to date and the new underground garage. The Commercialista (business accountant) what he can do for you.